Violin

O.writes:

Make a serious effort to discover what the "I" is.

[...] If you are not willing to find the answer to this question, you might as well give up the occult altogether. You might as well throw your lessons on the fire, sell all your books, quit whatever Order you belong to, and do something else.  All of this stuff has only one purpose, it's to get you to:  KNOW THYSELF

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As for myself, I play the violin. Playing the violin has taught me more about who is the "doer" and who is the "instrument", than all my Tarot meditations. When I play, I can sometimes feel the "I" flowing through the "me", as the "me" becomes more transparent. If I try to STOP to intellectually speculate on just what that "I" feeling is/was, then paradoxically, the "me" comes back into focus and blocks my awareness of the flow of the "I". So while in the "play" the sense of separation between I & me & God is diminished, but afterwards when ruminating over what transpired, the sense of separation between i/me & God comes back.

i am not the fiddler.
i am the fiddle.
and the breath of life is God's bow across my strings.
My job, it seems, is to cooperate in getting this,
His instrument in tune,
so that when He plays me,
He makes beautiful music.

JC