Subject: (no subject)
Date: Thursday, November 19, 1998 8:25 PM
K's comments are enclosed by * text*.
You:
Marked by a constant questioning of everything, and of every
apparent "authority".
* Correct. Only once this questioning of everything and every
apparent authority is sufficiently complete can I rest. And I have not
done well to step beyond this questioning in talking about these matters particularly
when i hear comments that are presented to me by someone who it seems to
be asking me to accept ideas/concepts for the truth rather than having the
understanding that truth can never be found in a concept. All I've been
able to do is refute.*
You:
Marked by a lack of having "tried" out this or that method and
what results (if any) were obtained. (at least you haven't talked about
it)
*I am done trying out methods, I see the futility of all such methods
and am attempting to and succeed to a degree at living it. Methods are
gimmicks. Perhaps valuable in part, for a while, but in the end,
gimmicks/manipulations.*
You:
Marked by an apparent fixation on "pathology" instead of on
health generating practices, methods, or exercises.
*Practices, methods and exercises have little use for me anymore.
Quite correct. Fixation on pathology, or more correctly of error or
the problem is a trap quite true and i have not entirely let go of such as
of yet. Since i maintain i have "a ways" to go, or that there is
learning still to be accomplished, seeing the problem and the solution
clearly is important and is the focus of my inquiries. At times this
asserting and inquiry is of an intense nature for me and particularly when
i am in the presence of someone asserting premises that i find inaccurate
or at least problematic. i have not been able to remain detached in such
discussions. My state tends to get "neurotic" to some degree.*
You:
Marked by a piecemeal aphoristic presentation of various spiritual
teachings as if presenting a patchwork quilt of ideas in the attempt to
stitch together some cogent whole from the various piece parts.
*No cogent whole is my intent. You have perceived this correct.
The refutation of a cogent whole, a web of concepts, such as that that i
perceive you as seeking/advocating is my intent. Truth is beyond such. Can
not be known as a cogent whole by the intellect. I am at variance with any
teaching that advocates the mastering of a thought system, a theology, as
being the necessary condition or the advocating as such as having any
inherent value other than undoing the blocks we have placed before our
experiencing of truth.*
You:
Marked by an acknowledgement and frustration of not reaching the depths
of understanding that you seek.
*Of course, for if one seeks the highest goal/perfection in one's own
thoughts and actions, acknowledgement and frustration seems to be at times
unavoidable. If one's standard is not as high there perhaps would be less.
And yet such frustration and acknowledgement is born out a
misunderstanding of the nature of what's true. It is not there for me
always. In discussions however of such matters of the nature of the ones
we have engaged in it has been there at times. To seek for higher
understanding and overcomes one own limited perceptions has been at times exasperating.
This is true. Perfection in thought and actions does not come without
seeming sacrifice and striving I am afraid. Only when gods grace is there
could sacrifice and striving be said to have an end. No form of human
denial can be a substitute for such.*
I am interested to hearing your reply if you are inclined to do so. Maybe
we should consider a tabling of our spiritual discussions for a
period. I do not want to be caught up in debating theory. we can
take a look at this and discuss it further.
