Giving Advice

28 Jul 2001

Recent posts have reminded me of what Ann used to say, again and again, from her lecture platform. "If you give advice, you really do not know what's going on--Who the One Actor is in all our choices of expressions. You are still in the delusionary, good and bad, part of the growth process.

You will pass through it, of course, but as you like to express yourself freely, allow others to do the same, no matter how benevolent you judge your motive.

Some WAG put up a sign in the front office--"NO ADVICE GIVEN OR ACCEPTED HERE." Joseph

25 Oct 2001

"Really wise" people do not give corrective or "constructive criticism," implying your conclusions are in error and mine are not. It's the "Trying to be wiser" people that do this.

 In my 12 years of close association with Ann I never heard her correct anyone. Not saying she didn't as she was human, but i never heard her. She said, to her frustration, that Paul never did either.

Their Samadhi realization was so strong that the Self/Doer formed "our" temporary conclusions that were erroneous (to us) but they were potent instructors when acted upon.

Our POV's [points of view] are self-corrective and they were utterly convinced of that. Our primary learning from them was by observation--"Adept watching" we called it. Then we tried to imitate it, a method that began when the Life Force took form.. Someday you'll be watching your Cosmic Mother make a Galaxy and you will learn how.

Joseph

08 Feb 2002

Learned a valuable lesson last night. A friend called and told me about a problem he is having with guilt over past failures.

As we talked, it became obvious to me how he was holding certain beliefs and desires which were contributing to his problems.

When I mentioned some of these (possibly limiting) beliefs, he became angry. How dare I question the TRUTH of [ ] !

The impression I got from him was: "Yes I want to address this problem, but I don't want to change my current truths or desires."

In other words -

I don't want the pain, but I don't want to change.

Now there's a set of conflicting values!

My lesson it seems, is in learning how to watch a friend burn in the fires of Hell, yet not be attached to results! To come running neither with buckets of water, nor of gasoline (since he wants neither), but to just look deeply without judgement.

So be it.

RL

It seems you became an unripe "green" lion in this learning to teach episode. The color green is highly sensitive, as you illustrated in your story. I observed quite a few of Ann's counseling sessions and she never told the counselee --"this is what's wrong with you." She left me to do that and i got instant defensiveness back. 

She asked a few non-threatening question and made the querrent see the answer to her own questions. The look on their faces when realization dawned was marvelous--a new freedom found. Becoming adept in this field is a never ending thing. Keep on keeping on. Joseph

Red Lion :) Such a great post....:) It definitely has the "Red Lion" Stamp on it :) No comments possible , only about your friend:

Maybe he got angry because he unconsciously thinks he "deserves" this suffering because of self condemnation??? 

Maybe he is punishing himself since there seems nobody else doing it?? :)) humans...........:) we are veeeeery inventive creatures indeed! 

All what's left to say to your friend is: Enjoy yourself, ufffhhh!!!

Angela

Hi Red Lion,

I had a friend once who was a vice president of a bank. A woman who was very much in charge except for one place. She had a boyfriend and they had a very S&M relationship. She went into a hypnotic state the moment she saw him. He took advantage of her and she helped him build a new home and donated money to it and the furnishings. She was always worried that when it was done he would move in with another woman.

Well he did and she was banished from a major part of his life but still saw him enough to be dominated and urged for "donations"..

She called me and cried and complained and asked for advice. I gave some good advice about waking up to realized the reality of this situation. She called 3x with the same story and cries. The third time I told her that I had given her what I considered my best advice and if she couldn't implement any it or get some professional help she shouldn't bother calling me anymore. She wasn't even trying to change. she was enjoying the pain of her "psorosis".

Was I too tough? No I don't think so. She really didn't want to change the sick relationship, she had strength for everything else. She had become like a black hole trying to suck her listeners down the energy sapping hole with her.

No. There comes a time when the Self that is you is most important. Developing who you are and staying and being healthy and whole. I removed myself from the zapping and waste of my energy and although this would not apply to all people in a difficult situation like this woman she did it to herself and continued doing it to herself and I was extraneous to that drama. why stay?

Wisa