Ego

There is only One Ego. Christ.

The ego (small "e") is an illusion. It is that feeling of having a "separate" Will, but without the awareness to realize that this Will is not personal nor confined to the individual. "ego" is the feeling resulting from the vehicle's resistance to the One Will as felt within an unrealized individual.

By Analogy...Ego (Capital "E") is the Dynamo generating the electricity, and ego (small "e") is the feeling the toaster gets from it's glowing coils which offer resistance to this inflowing energy. Or by analogy, EGO is the Sun, and ego represents the shadows cast by the individual subtle vehicles which take their life from the sun, but which also block and color the rays in individualized ways.

The ONE DOER is the EGO, and the individual vehicle's self conscious awareness of its (illusory) "separate self" is the ego. ego is the illusory shadow of the ONE EGO. The shadow is not the doer, but if all we can "see" is the shadow (i.e. personality), then it sure looks like the shadow done it. The unrealized individual casts a dark shadow, but as we become a more transparent vehicle for the ONE EGO, then the shadow becomes translucent (light filled, like that cast by stained glass).

J. C.
(just me and my shadow)

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To my Fellow egotists,

I have come to the conclusion that it is a necessary and good thing for one to work at strengthening the ego in the initial stages of the work. Illusion or not, there is NO Hope if one cannot separate themselves from the herd mind mentality. And that takes STRENGTH to be able to buck the current.

JC
(bucking the trend)
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I can let you have a set of used ego bar bells--cheap. They are somewhat rusty. I got fascinated with the way just my daily experience was doing the work and left them out in the weather. A little Rustoleum treatment and they'll be good as new and will impress everybody. I found that these ego bar bells have a tendency to develop one aspect of the ego at the expense of another. Be forewarned, frater. I guess you realize that you have a vast amount of company in this project. N.J.

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N.J.,

Interesting analogy "bar-bells", as they only build physical upper arm strength. Indicates that there are more and less effective ways to build inner strength.

Here's a question (s):

Are weak egos, and strong egos something we are born with, or are they grown? What kinds of activities build ego? Is there a healthy way to build ego strength?

My hypothesis:
Success at solving problems, builds the kind of inner-strength I'm referring to with the term "ego". And the primary "problem" is learning how to tame the Red Lion (K8). It takes strength to make it up the summit (K9); better to have a strong staff to help with the climb.

JC
(The Devil is the strength building drill Sergeant of life. God Bless him!)

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Fascinating question, regarding this paradox of ego. Like the Divine Paradox, I think it's all a question of perspective - Human perspective Vs. Divine perspective.

Right now, K14 (Temperance) comes to mind.

OK, under the inspiration of K14, guiding me, here's my hypothesis . . . . .

The One Doer is in fact working (like a Smith at the forge) on it's vehicle - US - pounding here, heating there, dousing with water, etc... in order to anneal and strengthen its vehicle into a more capable vehicle for the One Doer's experience and expression.

I shall see every aspect of my life as a particular dealing of God with my soul.

Now, from the vehicle's perspective, it probably feels itself getting stronger as it successfully navigates the trials and fires of life, but it's typically not aware of who/what is behind the mask that it sees/feels when it is aware of itself. As a result, the vehicle thinks that it is doing it (when successful), and that fate /chance /devils /others/ blind laws of nature are acting against it when unsuccessful or in pain.

Now, it would seem, that at some point in the ONE's plan for that vehicle, the ONE would bring that vehicle to a point where its Desire to see what's behind the mask it sees of itself, would become greater than its fear of disappearing/dying in the process. This point (where desire/love becomes stronger than fear), is a result of the ONE's work at strengthening that vehicle's ability to hold and transmit power.

In other words, at some point in the strengthening process, the person desires: "Man, Know Thyself", and becomes willing to find out the answer, no matter what it may be - be I a God, or be I dust.

And it is that DESIRE TO KNOW (which comes from the ONE), that finally overcomes the desire for pleasure/comfort and the desire to avoid pain (fear) to the point where the person WANTS TO KNEEL before the Inner Teacher, and is willing to do so (K5). And along the way, the person also must discover that it is the "desire to know, for the sake of sharing" that ultimately leads to the satisfaction of their desire - in other words - Service.

So basically, the solution to the Paradox of ego, is to Do what you want, because ultimately you'll want to know what the hell is going on and THAT will lead to the solution of the problem/paradox of ego.

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Q writes:

A strong ego can pull you off the track because it has you following its desires
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What do you mean "its desires"? Following your desires is what you're supposed to be doing.

I think the main problem for a person with a strongly developed sense of who they are is that they do not want to kneel before the Self.

Do not WANT to - get it?

It's a matter of desire. I want to "know", but I do not want to "kneel", therefore I'm frustrated. Conflicting Desires.

Yet the SELF will not be denied, and I still get chased by Tornadoes in my dreams.....

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Date: Tuesday, March 10, 1998 3:36 PM

George, Reading your response to my email, I see that we have much to agree on, for truly we do nothing of ourselves. It is God who is the only doer. We are but instruments of his Will. Given my recent interest in playing the violin (fiddle), I like to look at it as:

I am not the fiddler. I am the fiddle. It is God who is the Musician, and I am but his instrument. It is my job to cooperate in keeping my strings in tune, so that when God plays me, I make beautiful music. The breath of life that flows through me is God's bow across my strings.

What then, are the profound implications of this fact? Allow me to deduce:

All my strivings and all my desires, are but my vehicle's (personality's) response to the One Will. I may think that it's me (a separate little will or ego) doing it, but in reality I am NOT the doer. Granted, if my personality is still a green apple on the Tree of Life (immature), my ignorant response to this Will may be clumsy, crude or even savage, but at the root of my being, there is only ONE WILL - God's. There is no "separate" EGO, there is only one EGO - the ONE WILL.

I like to use the analogy of a toaster. Imagine that a toaster could become conscious of itself. Then imagine a toaster looking at its own glowing coils and thinking that it was the source of that glow, never realizing that it was plugged into the wall electrical socket! This is the same way we come to the "feeling" of having a separate ego. The feeling of "will" that we experience is the ONE WILL as it flows through our as yet imperfect personality. Like resistance in a wire causing it to heat up and glow. The more perfected a personality is the less resistance it offers to the current of the ONE Will, and thus the more able it is to act as an instrument of God.

The Will is real, the EGO is real. The truth is that we are not the source of it. We all partake of the ONE Will the ONE EGO, analogous to all toasters getting their power from one electric generator.

From where then do we get this false idea of having a separate will, and a separate ego that we may use to oppose God's Will?

Here we get to a great mystery; to the very core of the meaning of the "Fall" from the Garden of Eden. For if God is the only doer, then the story of the temptation and fall was NO ACCIDENT. It was part of the plan all along. How could it be otherwise, if God is the doer?

Now, why would God take a part of himself and put it into a state of perceived separation from himself? For the purpose of creating the beautiful physical universe, for the purpose of growth, experience and for God's enjoyment. God created Man as his instrument for doing his Work, his Will within and upon the physical universe. Initially Man was but a blind instrument for God's plan, but he desires that we become conscious co-creators. It is our destiny to become "conscious" instruments of his Will and Plan, as opposed to the "blind" instruments that most people currently are.

Thus the necessity for restriction, for limitation, for apparent separation. It is what builds consciousness, taking us from the pleasant unconsciousness of the "garden" into the tests and trials of physical life for the purpose of sharpening and building "consciousness".

As you know from working out at the gym "No Pain, No Gain! - or more accurately "No Limitation, no Growth!"

So how does one go from being a "blind" instrument to being a "conscious" one? It seems that at some point we feel a need, a striving to know God, and this inner prompting pushes us to refine ourselves and to work and practice in turning our lives over to God's guidance. Ahhh! But where does this inner "prompting" this "desire" come from?

It only seems like it's "me" doing it! In reality, it is God who has ripened this personality, this vehicle, this tool of his (God's) to the point where it feels the overarching need to become a more refined instrument.

It is God who is the divine blacksmith, refining my personality as his tool. As a blacksmith heats metal in a furnace, beats on it, then quenches it it water to anneal and strengthen the sword, God is refining me and testing my metal in the fires and waters of physical existence in order to bring about a more perfect instrument/tool for his divine plan.

It is this annealing/strengthening/sharpening process that brings my vehicle to a point of increasing discrimination, for as a sharpened sword can cut and divide more accurately, so can a sharpened personality discern the true face of the beloved that lies behind the mask of the adversary.

Where in the Bible does it talk about discrimination/discernment? When Jesus said "I come to bring a Sword". Or as St. Francis of Assisi said: "God make me an instrument of your Peace." The process of increasing one's discernment is the process of God sharpening his instrument. And this is done primarily by increasing one's aspiration for contact with the One Will, the Inner Teacher, the Higher Self, the Christ, the Holy Spirit, or however you wish to call IT.

And the way to do it is as I stated from my previous email. Of course recognizing that what seems like "me" doing it is in reality my personality's response to the REAL DOER - GOD who is in reality ripening/sharpening/perfecting his own instrument (who happens to call itself Joe!)

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What does it mean when we say that someone has a strong ego (or a weak one)?

What does it mean when we say, "Boy! What unmitigated ego!"

Maybe ego strength is like comparing toasters. One toaster is rated at 100w, while another is rated at 300w. So one toaster is capable of handling more current and doing more work, as a result of it offering less resistance to the incoming current. As one's resistance (blockages, attachments, neurotic complexes, sense of separation) to the One Power Supply is reduced to Zero, one's "ego" evaporates, revealing the One EGO as it courses through the purified reactive impedance known as personality. Then instead of giving off heat, one gives off Light.