Willing Change

Date: Tuesday, May 23, 2000 7:41 PM
Subject: Right

Dear jc,

 You said, "So who the F*&k wants to be right? It's more
important to be honest, I think."

 I think that is what I believe, too. Now if I could just get
over wanting to be right, I would reach moksha.

 Question: Can you change yourself just by willing it? How do changes occur? They can occur because outside influences force it, like a spouse leaving you, losing your health, or being fired from a job, etc. But , has anyone really changed by making the choice, or has it happened that you yearn for a dream, and somehow relax, until the dream gets clearer, or you grow into the person who can live it?

 The reason I say that is because of the term "thoughts are things."

 This led to many of my new age friends to gruesomely think positive, speak positive and do positive. Life had its waves, just as it did for those who had a few negative thoughts, too. They have almost all abandoned that philosophy, except for one lady.

 So, can you change your life, by the way you think, or not?

In L.V.X.,
curiously,
D.

=====================================================

Hi D.,

You asked: Can you change yourself just by willing it? How do changes occur?

Speaking from my own experience, the only changes I've ever made have been when I wanted something else, like a different job, or new place to live, or new activity, or new relationship, or new thing, or new whatever, whether it be to "get something", or "get away from" something, etc...

Of course this includes not only our "consciously" expressed desires, but also our subconscious desires. Often it is our subconscious desires which get us into trouble, which is our salvation, ultimately.

It has been from these desires that I have found myself in new situations and new relationships, from which I have gleaned experience, lessons, and yes - NEW DESIRES. So it has been the chain of desires which has been taming my Red Lion (note chain of roses around lion's neck in K8).

So the question then resolves to this: Part of me wants A (the "good" thing), while another part of me wants B (the bad/naughty thing). How do I make myself want more of A and less of B?

Here, I would apply a corollary of my previous statement, thus rephrasing it to be:

It is more important to be Honest than it is to want goody-goody.

If we can be honest with ourselves (and not deny or repress with guilt), then I think we can start to look without judgment, and maybe begin to realize that ALL our wants (even the naughty ones) are at their root, GOOD and are really a desire for more living-ness.

So that's the trick. We need to examine our wants, to see just what is there at its Root. In alchemical parlance this is called "burning our copper". I think Joseph called it looking at our "motivations". I think that the Emperor and the process known as Calcination covers this stage.

If we can successfully examine our wants at their root, then just perhaps we can begin to see the Universal Good in them, and we can begin to turn them White. We need the Hierophant to complete this task of turning them white.

The Making of the Tincture:

Burn your Copper
Turn it White
Turn it again to Redness
Make Visible Coin

But I think the initial liberating realization, is when we WANT to be HONEST, more than our other desires to be good, holy, spiritual, RIGHT, well thought of, pretty, nice, mature, intelligent, etc, ..etc.... With honesty, we get to DROP all the armor and the false personas that we carry around, and just get to be more real - a liberating experience. My fairly recent list admission of my foolishness, and my honest proclamation that "I AM A FOOL", was very liberating in this light.

Now how does one make themselves WANT to be Honest? That's one of those realizations that's a gift born of Grace, or of enough lightning bolts to the arse!

In other words, we ain't the Do'er no how. So it's really the One Doer who light's the fire of this and all other desire.

So just keep doing what you want to do, and if you want to look at what's behind your wanting, then do that!

jc
(Zero is my Hero- cause at least he's Honest!)